Nocturno Miedo - Xavier Villaurrutia

Todo en la noche vive una duda secreta:
el silencio y el ruido, el tiempo y el lugar.
Inmóviles dormidos o despiertos sonámbulos
nada podemos contra la secreta ansiedad.
Y no basta cerrar los ojos en la sombra
ni hundirlos en el sueño para ya no mirar,
porque en la dura sombra y en la gruta del sueño
la misma luz nocturna nos vuelve a desvelar.

Entonces, con el paso de un dormido despierto,
sin rumbo y sin objeto nos echamos a andar.
La noche vierte sobre nosotros su misterio,
y algo nos dice que morir es despertar.

¿Y quien entre las sombras de una calle desierta,
en el muro, lívido espejo de soledad,
no se ha visto pasar o venir a su encuentro
y no ha sentido miedo, angustia, duda mortal?

El miedo de no ser sino un cuerpo vacío
que alguien, yo mismo o cualquier otro, puede ocupar
y la angustia de verse fuera de si viviendo
y la duda de ser o no ser realidad.

Entre perro y lobo - Olga Orozco

Me clausuran en mí.      
Me dividen en dos.
Me engendran cada día en la paciencia
y en un negro organismo que ruge como el mar.      
Me recortan después con las tijeras de la pesadilla
y caigo en este mundo con media sangre vuelta a cada lado:      
una cara labrada desde el fondo por los colmillos de la furia a solas,      
y otra que se disuelve entre la niebla de las grandes manadas.
No consigo saber quién es el amo aquí.      
Cambio bajo mi piel de perro a lobo.
Yo decreto la peste y atravieso con mis flancos en llamas      
las planicies del porvenir y del pasado;
yo me tiendo a roer los huesecitos de tantos sueños muertos entre celestes pastizales.
Mi reino está en mi sombra y va conmigo dondequiera que vaya,
o se desploma en ruinas con las puertas abiertas a la
invasión del enemigo.      
Cada noche desgarro a dentelladas todo lazo ceñido al corazón,
y cada amanecer me encuentra con mi jaula de obediencia en el lomo.      
Si devoro a mi dios uso su rostro debajo de mi máscara,
y sin embargo sólo bebo en el abrevadero de los hombres      
un aterciopelado veneno de piedad que raspa en las entrañas.
He labrado el torneo en las dos tramas de la tapicería:      
he ganado mi cetro de bestia en la intemperie,
y he otorgado también jirones de mansedumbre por trofeo.      
Pero ¿quién vence en mí?
¿Quién defiende de mi bastión solitario en el desierto, la sábana del sueño?      
¿Y quién roe mis labios, despacito y a oscuras, desde mis propios dientes?

Grandfather Says - Ai

"Sit in my hand."
I'm ten.
I can't see him,
but I hear him breathing
in the dark.
It's after dinner playtime.
We're outside,
hidden by trees and shrubbery.
He calls it hide-and-seek,
but only my little sister seeks us
as we hide
and she can't find us,
as grandfather picks me up
and rubs his hands between my legs.
I only feel a vague stirring
at the edge of my consciousness.
I don't know what it is,
but I like it.
It gives me pleasure
that I can't identify.
It's not like eating candy,
but it's just as bad,
because I had to lie to grandmother
when she asked,
"What do you do out there?"
"Where?" I answered.
Then I said, "Oh, play hide-and-seek."
She looked hard at me,
then she said, "That was the last time.
I'm stopping that game."
So it ended and I forgot.
Ten years passed, thirtyfive,
when I began to reconstruct the past.
When I asked myself
why I was attracted to men who disgusted me
I traveled back through time
to the dark and heavy breathing part of my life
I thought was gone,
but it had only sunk from view
into the quicksand of my mind.
It was pulling me down
and there I found grandfather waiting,
his hand outstretched to lift me up,
naked and wet
where he rubbed me.
"I'll do anything for you," he whispered,
"but let you go."
And I cried, "Yes," then "No."
"I don't understand how you can do this to me.
I'm only ten years old,"
and he said, "That's old enough to know."

Conversation - Ai

We smile at each other
and I lean back against the wicker couch.
How does it feel to be dead? I say.
You touch my knees with your blue fingers.
And when you open your mouth,
a ball of yellow light falls to the floor
and burns a hole through it.
Don't tell me, I say. I don't want to hear.
Did you ever, you start,
wear a certain kind of dress
and just by accident,
so inconsequential you barely notice it,
your fingers graze that dress
and you hear the sound of a knife cutting paper,
you see it too
and you realize how that image
is simply the extension of another image,
that your own life
is a chain of words
that one day will snap.
Words, you say, young girls in a circle, holding hands,
and beginning to rise heavenward
in their confirmation dresses,
like white helium balloons,
the wreathes of flowers on their heads spinning,
and above all that,
that's where I'm floating,
and that's what it's like
only ten times clearer,
ten times more horrible.
Could anyone alive survive it?

The Lamentation of the Old Pensioner - W.B. Yeats

Although I shelter from the rain
Under a broken tree
My chair was nearest to the fire
In every company
That talked of love or politics,
Ere Time transfigured me.

Though lads are making pikes again
For some conspiracy,
And crazy rascals rage their fill
At human tyranny,
My contemplations are of Time
That has transfigured me.

There's not a woman turns her face
Upon a broken tree,
And yet the beauties that I loved
Are in my memory;
I spit into the face of Time
That has transfigured me.